The Anxious Thoughts Test

Being new is stressful. I had waited for this opportunity to make connections and build friendships. But there I sat feeling alone in a sea of people. And while everything was beautiful and the words were friendly and I was included, watching all those happy friends enjoy one another made me want to curl up and hide on the inside. Or better yet . . . run away.

My brain knew that it takes time to develop relationships. It takes working, playing, and doing life together for a while to grow into friendships that encourage and nurture. My brain knew this, however my heart was not being patient. My heart was breaking. My heart wanted it now.

Seeing his chance, Satan began his attack. You don’t fit in. They don’t need your help. You have no friends. People don’t like you. They are better than you. You should run. His whispers filled my thoughts building a wall. The more I listened, the less I tried to connect. I didn’t run away, but I didn’t make the most of my opportunity to build friendships in this new place. I knew I needed help to overcome.

When I returned home, I tried to work through my feelings. I prayed, “Lord, why am I feeling this way? I want to serve in this church, but these anxious thoughts are dividing me.” Through reading His Word and prayer, I was encouraged. Psalm 139:23-24 revealed the truth I really needed:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me, and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

What did my anxious thoughts reveal? Maybe they revealed that I don’t think I’m worthy enough for the Lord to use, or that I don’t think God has given me good enough gifts to be used in His kingdom. Maybe they reveal I think He can’t fix my brokenness, that there will never be a place for me among His people. If this is what my anxious thoughts reveal hidden in my heart, then I am sure it is offensive to Him. Lord, forgive me, for I know in my mind this is not who You are.

You are the God who cleanses me and makes me an instrument for noble purposes, holy and useful to do any good work (2 Timothy 2:21).

You are the Father in heaven who knows how to give better gifts than my earthly father. You give the Holy Spirit to help in all things (Luke 11:11-13).

You are the One who sent Jesus to bind up the brokenhearted, to free the captives, to release prisoners from darkness, to show Your favor, to comfort, to give provision, to bestow beauty and gladness and praise in our hearts for You. You are the One who makes Your children oaks of righteousness, a planting for the display of Your splendor (Isaiah 61:1-3).

The way everlasting is not found in my mixed up emotions and self-destructing thoughts. The way everlasting is found in the truth of His word. Here is what Psalm 139 revealed to my aching heart: I cannot entertain Satan’s lies and claim the Lord’s truth, for one cancels out the other in my heart and mind. If I believe I am useless, empty, and broken, then I cannot believe at the same time that I am useful, filled with the Holy Spirit, and mended together in Christ. I am either one or the other. By believing the lies, I am like a spoiled child who screams, “You don’t do anything for me!” This is not true! My Father has gone to unimaginable lengths for me. His love and gracious gifts are infinite and not defined by my circumstances.

If we are going to walk this life as a children of God, we will need to be purposeful about what we believe. Anxious thoughts reveal the hidden heart. Taking the time to wrestle through those whispering thoughts with the Lord in prayer and in studying His word is essential. We won’t overcome without Him. Our Lord is good, and He will reveal the lies we are gripping tightly. If we loosen the grip on the lies allowing them to slip from our grasp, we will be free to hold tightly to Jesus.

God does not allow us to be uncomfortable without reason. He allowed my anxious thoughts to reveal to me that I cannot keep entertaining the lies and claiming the truth. With all my heart, I want to claim His truth. So, I have resolved to work through all of my anxious thoughts with the Lord in order to reveal what hidden lies I am believing. I have resolved to start each day choosing joy. I have resolved to be a thankful child of God. Maybe you are like me. If so, I invite you to do the same. In His truth, we will be oaks of righteousness unmoved by the whispering winds of the enemy.

Dear Lord, Thank You for sending Your son. May I never forget what unimaginable lengths You have gone for me. Forgive me for holding tightly to the lies. Let me see them as lies, and help me to let go of their self-destructing power. Help me to soak in Your truth, and grow me so that I may shine Your glory to those around me. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

Gather As Much As You Need

I love bread! I grew up in a bread family. Mom always had some kind of tasty rolls or biscuits, homemade yeast bread, sourdough pancakes, or the ever-loved cinnamon rolls – that I watched rise in a covered bowl as I longed for their sweet goodness. No wonder bread is my weakness. No wonder I began to notice bread in the Bible.

For some reason, I’ve always thought of manna as bread. I’m not sure why. Manna literally means, “What is it?” It was that strange substance provided by God to sustain the Israelites in the desert. I suspect it was perfectly nutritious – God’s little nutrition bar. That would be just the kind of thing God would do. Every morning it was there. They never had to worry. They could boil it. They could bake it. But, they couldn’t keep it. When kept till the next day, it grew maggots and began to stink. Except on the Sabbath! Can you imagine? It didn’t go bad on the Sabbath! God is amazing!

God provided for the Israelites. He told them through Moses, “Each one is to gather as much as he needs” (Exodus 16:16). God provided exactly what they needed for that day. They couldn’t store it up and stockpile it – just in case God took a day off in the middle of the week. They were forced to rely on Him every day.

This idea so speaks to me. It’s like my finances – the money isn’t always there ahead of time, but somehow the Lord provides. It’s like the time my husband lost his job – the Lord provided work until something just right arrived. It’s like the strength I need daily to deal with aging parents, growing kids, and the steady demands of the to-do list – the Lord gives me what I need each day.

The Israelites ate manna for 40 years until they entered the Promised Land, a land flowing with milk and honey. Each day God provided for them until they arrived in the place of plenty. I know He will do the same for me. No matter how barren things might look around me, my God’s hand is upon me. I am reminded that “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided” (Genesis 22:14). I will take Him at His word, for God is faithful. I hope you will do the same. Together, let’s give God praise for the things He has provided. Let’s shout our thanksgivings. Let’s enjoy His manna every day of our lives!

Thank You, LORD, for faithfully providing the things I need. Help me to be obedient with what you’ve given me. Help me to always remember the manna you give to me – gifts to sustain me in the desert and never take them for granted. I praise You and thank You! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Learn to Trust, Not Control

As soon as I finished writing the words in my prayer journal, I knew they were a lie: “Forgive me for secluding parts of my life from You and for keeping the Holy Spirit out. Forgive me for not giving You my whole heart.” These words scare me. I don’t really want to give all of my heart to the Lord. What would that require of me? I feel like Smeagol holding on to his Precious. But why? Why do I clutch at things that are better off in my Lord’s sweet hands?

Is it control? I do like control. Without my lists, plans, and routines, I feel reckless. Control makes me comfortable. Control makes me feel that I can manipulate a situation in the direction I want it to go. But control gives a false sense of power. My frenzied attempts to control a situation do not make me “in control” of the final outcome.

Deep down, I know . . . there is something else lurking in my uneasiness. When I push these thoughts aside, I know what it is. Trust. I do not trust my Lord. What if the Lord doesn’t do what I want? What if He has something difficult in store? What if He demands something I can’t do or don’t want to give? What if life isn’t good? What if . . .? I know it is the “What ifs” that scare me. But my “What ifs” imply the Lord does not want good for me. Is that how I really feel: The Lord wants bad things for me? This is not the truth!

Romans 8: 31-32 rings in my ears: “What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” These words are the truth, not my “What ifs.” The gracious giving God who sent His own son to come and rescue me from a pit of sin and death would not harbor ill-intent for me. He has no desire to harm me or set me up for failure. His desire is that I will walk with Him and learn to trust Him above all else. He has what is best for me, even if I don’t understand it at the time. He is trustworthy!

I am the one that can’t be trusted! I don’t follow through. I walk away. I ignore. I put off till later. I would never build this kind of trust with my family or friends. So why do I ignore my Lord? I am the untrustworthy one! But how do I change?

The first step is adjusting my view. Sometimes I view my Lord in some lofty place, far removed, governing over everyone. This makes me feel alone and causes me to act on my own, sometimes in fear. I must remember who I am in Him. As a Child of God, He has sought me out and redeemed me through Jesus Christ. He is not far away but near. The second step is remembering that His intentions are good. No matter what comes my way or what He asks me to do, I should not fear because I have His love and “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear . . .” (1 John 4:18). I need to learn to trust in His love, not in my ability to control. The third step is to remember all the good things my Lord has already done for me. When fear makes me clutch tighter to the things I think I can manipulate, that should be my cue to rest in His proven trustworthiness. These things will help me to trust in His love, then step out with confidence.

Dear Lord, I want to trust You, even in the most confusing times. Help me to stop racing to control what is not in my power to determine. Help me to never forget who I am in You: chosen, redeemed, loved, protected, child of the Most High God. I want that perfect love that drives out fear. Please help me! In Jesus’s name, Amen!

Growing in Grace

I blew my “Whatever I do, I’ll do it all for the Lord” commitment on the first day. I was trying so hard to be the perfect person who does everything just right. Unrealistic expectations always leave me feeling like a loser. Deep down, I know that no one is perfect, everyone goofs up, but still . . . I was hoping to get it right this time.

As I prayed through my broken commitment that day, I confessed my feelings of hopelessness to the Lord: “I want so much to serve you well, yet I always goof up. Where is the hope in that, Lord?” He whispered to my aching heart: “You put your hope in what you do, not in what I’ve done. My grace is sufficient for you.”

“Grace. What is grace? I don’t even think I understand what that means – my grace is sufficient for you. Help me understand, Lord.”

So I poured over His word seeking answers. I walked away understanding this truth: My best at anything is only filthy rags before the Lord (Isaiah 64:6). It is my faith in Him that brings righteousness, not my actions (Ephesians 2:8-9). He desires that I grow in Him (2 Peter 3:18). Through this sanctification process, I will grow a little at a time, learning as I go, conquering obstacles, overcoming faults one-by-one (1 Thessalonians 5:23). It is arduous work; some lessons are harder than others. However, my Lord is faithful. As long as I walk with Him, I will grow to become more and more Christ-like (1 Thessalonians 5:24).

I knew that part of God’s grace is when He overlooks our mistakes because He knows we are not perfect. I began to understand that growing in grace happens when we allow God to use our mistakes to instruct us, correct our short-comings, and become more like Him. Here is the thing: we get His grace when we are saved through faith for “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). By His mercy, we are all covered in grace. The question is, will we grow in that grace or just stand still? He wants us to grow. He tells us, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18).

I will not grow through all of my perceived goodness, but through what I do wrong. That’s where instruction happens. My mistakes highlight my weaknesses; it gives the opportunity to change, to grow, to be a better witness for the Lord. The trouble is our enemy would like us to wallow in shame and guilt. It keeps us down. Steal, kill, destroy – that’s our enemy’s goal. This includes stealing my joy, killing my confidence in redemption, destroying my relationship with the LORD. Satan doesn’t want me to have any of these things.

I must remember – when I am weak, then I am strong – because the Lord is my strength (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). I must remember Isaiah 40:31: “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” The Lord does not want us to wallow in shame. He gives us strength and hope.

May my hope be ever in the Lord and never in myself!
May my weaknesses prompt growth in His grace, strength in His name!
For His grace is sufficient for me.

Dear LORD, Thank You for Your all-sufficient grace. Thank You for helping me work this out through Your Word that speaks into my life. Your love is overwhelming. Thank You! In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Making Room for Christmas

Does your holiday schedule look like mine? Family gatherings, parades, parties, dinner guests, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and travel? My goodness! No wonder we are so stressed out this time of year! We complain. We stress. But next year we will pack our schedules just as tight. What is the answer to our frenzy?

When I was a young teenager, my schedule was not as tight. My parents were divorced. Mom lived hundreds of miles away. My brothers were grown, and my dad went on many dates. I was home alone – a lot. Sometimes that was okay, but other times, especially on holidays, I was sad to be by myself. That’s when I would pray to the Lord and dream of a day when my life would be full of family and friends. That quiet time alone gave me many moments to think about Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas. I often read the Bible and sang Christmas songs, especially when I felt alone. But I wasn’t alone. These were together times – me and my Lord – and I was building a relationship with Him that would last. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

As my life filled up with friends and family, then a husband and children, I spent less time with Jesus at Christmas. One Christmas Eve, a friend invited my husband to an oyster roast. He took the kids leaving me at home to finish preparing the meal we would host later that evening. They were late returning. The house was quiet. I was alone. Suddenly I felt like I had all those years ago – forgotten, unwanted. I sat on the back steps and cried, “Lord. Well here we are again. Me and you alone at Christmas.” My heart was filled with sadness. But the Lord responded to my heart, “Yes. If you were not alone, you would not be here with me.”

Oh how true! His words stung my heart. I knew this moment was of His making so that He could be with me. How sweet. I was not forgotten or unwanted. We had a good laugh and a few precious moments together before my world was full of other people. I cherish that moment he made for me. It made me realize that in my attempt to grab all the holiday cheer possible, I often miss out on the one thing that Christmas is about: a savior come for me.

The Christmas story reflects this same idea. There was no room for Mary and Joseph in the bustling inn. They went to the quiet stable. There, away from the hoopla, came the baby in a manger. The shepherds were out in quiet fields where they could appreciate the host of angels and the message of a savior. The Wise Men followed a silent star. I think that sometimes our hearts, like busy Bethlehem, have no room for Jesus. His presence comes softly, like quiet snow, not in the bustle. Therefore, we must stop the frenzy and intentionally make quiet time to be with him. God promises, “you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and all your soul” (Deut. 4:29). He will meet you in the pause. Together you will enjoy what He has done. Your life may be busy and you might need to slow down in order to take a few moments to be with your savior. Or, you may be in one of those quiet places already where people have moved on and you feel alone. I’ve been in both and I know that either way the pause is for you. Savor it. It is there you will find your Savior and Christmas.

Escape From the Pit

You know that pit you’re in – the one that makes you feel unworthy, defeated? There is hope for escape. “How did I get here?” you ask. Many roads lead to the pit. Repeated sin. Depression. Idolatry. Loneliness. Sickness. Maybe you made your own way there. Maybe someone or something pushed you down further and further until you were locked in by the dark walls of hopelessness. Listen! There is a way out. You are not alone.


Maybe you don’t see it now but, our hope is not in ourselves. Nor is it in the things around us. Our hope is in the LORD, and He is with you! Stop looking around. Look up! The LORD is there. His light is breaking your darkness like the dawn of a new day. Dawn happens gradually. The light ever so slowly chases away the darkness. It is beautiful to watch and nothing . . . nothing can stop it. Think about that. Nothing can stop the dawn from coming. The light will prevail. The only way to miss seeing the light is to run and hide. Likewise, the only way to miss the LORD’s light is to run from Him. Don’t! Stand firmly in the presence of your LORD. Watch Him dawn His beautiful light on you. Listen as He whispers, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. I will build you up again, and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt” (Jeremiah 31:3b-4a).

Oh! What hope! The God of the universe loves you. He draws you into Himself with His kindness. He promises to build you up again. No matter how dirty or scarred you may feel, you will be pure again, sanctified, and with new purpose because of Him.

The way out is simple. Look up! Fix your eyes on the LORD. Read His word. Clothe yourself in His promises, His righteousness. Let nothing distract you from Him. Not your heart. Not your emotions. Not the world around you. Focus on Him. Soon you will find you are free from that dark place. Then, you will sing and shout His glorious praises in victory!

Heavenly Father, our world is sometimes dark. Thank You for the light of Your word. Thank you for hope. Thank You for the saving grace given to us because of Jesus. We commit ourselves to You. Guide us out of these dark places and into Your freedom. In Jesus’s name, Amen.


Additional readings:
2 Samuel 22:29; Psalm 4:6; John 1:1-5; John 8:12; 1 Peter 2:9; Revelation 21:23

Cheap Imitations

They were just little twinkle lights that looked like fireflies in the trees, but I thought about them often after I walked away that day leaving them on the store shelf. Little lights shining in the dark make me happy.

When I saw them the next spring, I quickly put them in my buggy. I couldn’t wait for dark when I could watch them twinkle in my own backyard trees. My husband plugged them up, and as the sun faded in the sky, we ceremoniously flipped the switch. Little green lights danced on the trees, not quite like fireflies. I acted excited, but honestly, I was somewhat disappointed. After a year of thinking about them, they didn’t quite live up to my expectations.

I thought about those lights when my husband and I were out in the boat one day. He fishes. I read. We trolled into this little cove escaping the main flow of the river. It was a glorious spring day. The sky was perfect blue. The leaves were newly bright green. Fluffs of willow seeds floated through the breeze like thousands of dandelion tufts. I was enjoying the sun and my book when we floated under the canopy of trees. I looked up to adjust my eyes in the dimmer light and that’s when I noticed: thousands of lights shimmering in the trees. Everywhere they danced, moving, swaying, glittering, twinkling. I caught my breath. “Oh look!” I exclaimed. “Look at the trees!” “Yeah, that’s nice,” my husband replied, more interested in his bobber.

It was the sunlight sparkling off the moving water, casting its reflection above on to the trees. It was captivating! As I sat there in this glorious spectacle designed by God, I could not help but think: No twinkle light could ever compare to the handiwork of God. No wonder I was disappointed in my store-bought lights.

But I wonder how often we settle for cheap imitations instead of looking for the real thing. How often do we fill our lives with a continuous scroll of superficial posts from friends when what we need is the deep abiding relationship of our Lord? How often do we over consume to feel some sort of satisfaction when what we need is but a drink of the living water offered by Jesus to quench our desires? How often do we search for something to fill us up, move our hearts, bring rest to our weary souls? The idols of this world do not have what we need. They are only cheap imitations packaged and parked on a shelf for easy consumption.

Our idol-filled world can feel hopeless but our God is faithful. Cast aside the cheap imitations you are clinging to. They may sparkle, but they can never shine as brightly as our Lord’s love. Like spring overtaking winter, the Lord can overtake your idol-filled heart with a symphony of song, twinkling sunshine, green leaves, and bright flowers. So, “stop and consider the wondrous works of God” and worship Him (Job 37:14).

Momma and God

Momma died the summer of 2017. The Lord gave me the honor and privilege of walking with her through her last days. When the Alzheimer’s first set in, and the reality of it stared me down. I was scared. It all seemed so complicated and overwhelming. I know that God can use all things to strengthen us, so in the beginning I came to the conclusion that when Alzheimer’s strikes, it is His way of building perseverance in the caregiver. I was thinking, “Momma’s mind is gone; whatever the Lord does with this will be for those helping her.” After all, He tells us in James 1:2-5:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

I needed lots of wisdom to deal with this disease: how to care for her, how to deal with money, how to deal with her property, how to deal with the personalities in my family. I called on the Lord – a lot. I needed physical and emotional strength to persevere through this long disease. He answered my prayers, but my eyes were on how He was helping me with all of the complicated things. I never noticed what He was doing for Momma – until one spring day.

I picked Momma up for lunch at my river house. When we arrived, and she was seated in the rocker on the porch, she looked around and exclaimed, “Oh my, look at what God has done! Isn’t it beautiful! The trees . . . and the river! Just look! God is so good!” And Momma began to sing. She sang one hymn after another, praising the Lord with all her soul. Her voice was shaky and she often got the words wrong, but she sang sweet praises to her Lord.

I stood there crying. How simple. How sweet. It dawned on me that God was with her just as much as me. He helped her in simple ways her mind could understand: beautiful scenery, hymns, music, visitors, good food, and sweet caregivers. I know the Lord was helping her even at the end as she talked to the carpenter standing beside her bed – the carpenter I couldn’t see, but I’m sure was there.

Never did He leave us. Never did He forsake us. Our Lord was with each of us in the way we needed most. I learned that day that even when things seem complicated, His presence is simple. Simple and sweet. Momma was right. God is so good! Whatever way you need Him most today, He is simply there. It may be the smallest thing, but it is strategically placed right there just for you. Praise Him!

Been a long time . . .

Wow! Has it really been that long since I've posted anything on this lonely blog?

That just goes to show how utterly busy I have been. But, spring break is on the way - just 9 school days away!

I may have neglected my blog, but I haven't neglected my journal. I just haven't had the time to share some of my thoughts.

But, it is a rainy Sunday afternoon and I've been itching to type. So here goes . . .

My March 1st memory verse was 2 Corinthians 1:20.
"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God."

Choosing a verse to memorize is such a blessing because it gives you time to concentrate on that one thought. I chose this verse because of the idea of promises but the word that ended up catching my attention was the word "Amen".

A common word - one we use often - and one that the LORD and I have had some conversation about over the years. I started thinking about this word. What does it mean? I've always seen it as a closing and a word of agreement. I decided to look it up in my Vines dictionary.

The Vines gave me some other verses where the word "Amen" had been used in the original text but not necessarily translated as "Amen". Here are some things I found:

1."Amen" suggests God's faithfulness.
Deut. 7:9 and Isaiah 49:7 both use the word in this way.

2."Amen" suggests God's truth.
Isaiah 65:16 uses "God of truth" in place of "Amen" and helps us to understand it is a guarantee, a promise.

3. "Amen" is used as a title of Christ in Revelation.
Rev. 3:14 "...These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation."

4. "Amen" is used in the New Testament as a word of agreement, such as in 1 Corinthians 14:16.

5. "Amen" is used by Jesus but it is translated "verily" or "I tell you the truth"; so, again, we see the word suggests truth.

Imagine that . . . "Amen" means so much more than just a closing. It is faithful, true, trustworthy, a promise fulfilled.

I started thinking about Jesus on the cross and his final words. Picture this . . . a lonely hilltop, far away. The son of man, beaten and bloody hanging from the cross, head down, exhausted and in pain. He raises his head and breathes the words, "It is finished."

Jesus' work on the cross is our "Amen". He sealed up God's promises with his sacrificial blood. It is done! Our sins are forgiven. Our freedom is bought.

"So no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. So that through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God."

Thank you LORD for revealing yourself to us, for giving us new ideas about old words. Your word truly is alive and active and I am so excited about that.

Thank you, LORD!
AMEN!

The LORD's Army

Here it is – the holiday season and I have been struck with grouchiness! Just about everything has gotten on my nerves lately. I’ve been feeling lonely, taken advantage of, emotionally abused, without companionship . . . My list could go on.

I really want to be in the holiday spirit and be excited but all these other things are getting in my way. I’m sure that is exactly how Satan would want it. The Bible tells us that our battles are not earthly but spiritual and I’m assuming that is especially the case with this kind of thing. It is definitely Satan. He just doesn’t want me to enjoy the holiday season.

Saturday Jeff and I were watching Crocodile Dundee on TV. It’s been a while since I’d seen it. Mick is a pretty slick character. Once he got those bad guys back on his own turf, they were done for. His battle tactic was to create a diversion and while everyone was in a panic, he would carry someone off. He called in some bats one time, fired some shots in a different direction another time and even had a fake crocodile emerge through the murky water to “eat” someone.

Simple and effective. Create a diversion, then, go in for the attack. I’m sure that battle tactic has been used many times throughout history. So, I ask you, why wouldn’t Satan do the same? Create a diversion . . . go in for the attack. Or, create a diversion to keep us off task. Really, he doesn’t even need to attack; he just needs to re-direct our focus and keep us from doing God’s will or enjoying the peace and joy we’ve been given. Just a little diversion and . . . well, he’s successful.

That’s what he’s been doing to me. I’m particularly diverted when my emotions are involved. Satan knows that. He’s used that one in the past and it works. If he can get my emotions flared up, I’m down for the count. Here are some thoughts that always get my attention:

“Woe is me. No one likes me.”
“I’m a loser. I can’t do anything right.”
“I’m all alone.”
“I can’t stand it when he or she does . . . (whatever)”
“I have to do all this work by myself while everyone just watches.”
“No one cares for me.”

My list could go on but those are some typical lures Satan uses to divert my attention. I think I’ve felt all those things and more in the past week.

But, those thoughts aren’t the truth. They are a smoke screen – a lie. If I let them play out in my mind, they will overtake me. Satan won’t have to do a thing. I’ll consume myself with thoughts of myself and how awful my plight in life. That will be the end of me for a while. Isn’t he clever?

David, our youth minister, has a saying that rings in my ears today.
“It’s not about you. Get over yourself.”
He tells the youth this all the time when we’re on a mission trip. He says, “It’s gonna get hot. You’re gonna get tired and frustrated. It’s not gonna be easy. But you are here for the kids. You are here to do God’s work. This isn’t about you.”

What he’s telling them is don’t be diverted by yourself. Don’t lose focus. Keep your eyes on the goal and do not allow little things that don’t matter in the end to keep you from serving God. He’s so right!

I’ve fallen for the diversion yet again!

I’ve been consumed with myself and things that don’t matter because they aren’t the truth. I’ve taken my eyes off serving the LORD. I’ve even allowed my joy to be dragged off during the diversion.

We’ve all got our weaknesses when it comes to diversions. What captures my attention might not even make you blink and vice versa. Be assured, Satan knows what works for each of us. He has studied us closely. Some things really are a battle and they require a spiritual fight – prayer and fasting and wielding our sword constantly. But, some things are just a diversion – a smoke screen, something to keep us occupied and not on target with the LORD. Some diversions just steal our joy.

May we be a people that know the difference between real battle and planned diversions. May we be strong enough to not even flinch at those distractions. May our eyes be so focused on the LORD that we never fall for the lure to be taken off track. Then, we will be able to do more for our LORD and savior.

Can you see us – decked out in our armor? Polished shield of faith. Sparkling breastplate of righteousness. Helmet of salvation fitted tightly. Belt of truth fastened around. Our shoes ready to move. The light of our LORD radiating from our drawn swords. We stand together . . . strong, holy, ready to fight, already victorious. Don’t you know the sight of us makes demons flee because we are His. We are the LORD’s army! Praise You, LORD!

Lord, help me . . . help us to be the soldiers you’ve called us to be - ready and able, equipped with Your word and Your righteousness. Let us stand unflinching before You. Let us not be distracted. Let us keep our eyes on You. Let us forever serve You, going out in the world to do the good works which You’ve prepared for us to do. We want to be strong soldiers in Your army. Help us, LORD! In Jesus’ mighty name . . .

Be Still

Have you ever been in a place in your life that felt like uncharted waters? Your world is rocking. There is turbulence all around. You can’t get your bearings because you are being tossed to and fro like someone in a boat on troubled seas. That’s where I’ve been lately. Every morning I wake to feel the storm still raging.

I started thinking about this boat and storm idea yesterday and thought about the story in Mark where Jesus calms the storm. So, I decided to read it and see what the LORD had to tell me. I wanted to know how my story is similar, even thought it is a storm of emotions.

The first thing I noticed was that Jesus was the one who suggested they take the boat across to the other side.

“That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, ‘Let us go over to the other side.” (Mark 4:35)

The disciples did not plan to go over there and probably wouldn’t have gone if Jesus had not suggested it. It was their Lord’s idea to go. Now, Jesus knows all things. He knew there would be a storm, so he must have pointed them in this direction for a reason. The storm was part of his plan.

This is very much like my story. I did not plan for these recent events to happen in my life. They are not of my making. I’ve just been sailing along. Maybe I saw some storm clouds on the horizon. Perhaps I heard some thunder in the distance. I did not expect to be overcome by this squall, however. But Jesus did.

“A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat so that it was nearly swamped.” (Mark 4:37)

I have felt exactly this way – in a furious storm, being battered from side-to-side by my emotions. Full of compassion one moment. Full of anger the next. Waves of emotions have crashed over me so that I’ve been nearly swamped by them – unable to concentrate on anything else and unable to right my boat. Keeled over – first one way, then the other – that’s what I have been.

Have you ever felt this way? I hope you had Jesus on your boat!

“Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, don’t you care if we drown? He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.” (Mark 4:38-39)

Like the disciples, I have Jesus on board, thankfully. I have cried the same thing to him, “Lord, look at what is happening! I can’t fix this! Do something!”

He has said the same thing back to me, “Be still! Be still! Be still!”

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him . . .” (Psalm 37:7)

“Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

“Quiet! Be still!” (Mark 4:39)

I even heard him whispering this to me in a children’s movie at the theater last Friday. In the movie Where the Wild Things Are, the boy, Max, was very emotional. He was allowing his emotions to take control over him. They dictated his actions. His anger was about to eat him up. He had to say, very firmly, “Be still!” to the Wild Things. Reminded me of myself.

“Quiet! Be still!” The Lord told the storm and it was completely calm.

“He said to his disciples, ‘Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (v. 40)

I have come to realize that my situation is not really my problem. It is someone else’s problem and I can’t fix it. The Lord will work that out. He has promised me He will. My problem is my emotions about the situation. That is where the storm is raging.

“Quiet! Be still! . . . Do you still have no faith?”

The Lord has assured me over and over that this will turn out for my good and His glory. I must have faith in that. Allowing my emotions to storm, tossing me from side-to-side shows I do not trust what he has promised. It suggests I “still have no faith.”

We are going to the other shore. Jesus has pointed us in that direction. He has set me on this course. It was part of his plan. He knew it wouldn’t be easy. He knew the storm would come. But he is with me and has assured me we will get there safely. So, the question is, will I listen and obey and be still?

To the disciples Jesus revealed part of who he is, “Even the wind and the waves obey him!” (v. 41b) He wants to reveal something to me as well. Will I “Be still” and listen?

Will I allow my faith in Jesus Christ to quiet my emotional storm?
Will I step up boldly each time the winds begin to blow and say, “Be still!”
Will I allow him to reveal himself to me?
What would I know about my Lord and Savior if I would stop and allow him to be in control?

I’ve decided I would rather get to the other shore in awe of my Lord instead of emotionally worn out.

I don’t know if this word speaks to you. I hope it does. We all have our moments in the middle of the storm. Let us “Be still,” and allow Jesus, the Prince of Peace, to calm the waves.

Thank you, Jesus.
Keep us pointed in your direction and on even keel.
In Jesus’ name . . .

BIG or Little?

Americans are BIG. We have big houses and drive big cars compared to other places in the world. We build big buildings and big stadiums. We have big movie stars who make big money. They throw big parties and spend their big money.
We eat Big Macs with our big super sized combos and then we are big in size. We have big government and big egos. We are just BIG!

That big mentality spills over into our attitudes and desires, even if we aren’t one of those big movie stars with big money. All of this BIG has caused us to think, even the smallest of us, that bigger is better. I read a children’s book this summer by Will Hobbs titled Go Big or Go Home. I think that sums up our attitude. If it isn’t big enough, we don’t want it and the little things don’t matter any more. It is a shame, but I think that is where we are in our attitudes.

This “big” thing began to dawn on me while I was deep in my Esther study the other day. Beth Moore has been talking about our personal destinies so, of course, I’ve been thinking, “What is my personal destiny? What am I supposed to be doing?” I’ve asked the Lord this for a long time now and I get a little bit of an idea along the way. He has been good to give me direction but I’ve never felt like “This is it!” Maybe it's just never been BIG enough for me to say, "Okay. That's it."

So, I started questioning my motive about wanting to know. I’ve been praying every morning, “Lord search my heart and keep my intentions pure,” and He has been faithful to do that. I’ve been questioning a lot about myself lately and I know it is because of that prayer. Most of the time I don’t like what I see and this big thing is no exception. It suddenly dawned on me that I want my destiny to be BIG. A big book to write or a big Sunday School class to teach or big attendance to some place I speak or . . . I don’t know . . . just BIG. Oh, the shame of my motive - but it is true.

I have fallen victim to the BIG mentality of America. Go BIG or go home! If it isn’t big, we don’t want it. If it is going to happen to us, we want it to be big. What is up with that? I’m not a big person, in terms of sphere of influence, nor do I really want to be. My house is small, by American standards. My car is small. (We won’t talk about my truck.) My circle of friends is small. And you know what? I like it that way. Why am I thinking about the BIG?

Really, "the BIG thing" is what I wanted in my heart when I asked the Lord about my destiny. I wanted the BIG. I’ve been trained to think that way – television, movies, news reports, seeing big houses and big cars and hearing about other people’s big stories. The world has influenced me. But, I must remember . . . I am not of this world. I am a child of God and I should see things differently. God’s economy is not the world’s economy.



May the Word of God remind me of what He has said to me.

Matthew 16:26: “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?”

John 15:19: “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world . . .”

1 Corinthians 3:19: “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. . .”

1 John 2:15-17: “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.”

1 Peter2:9: “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

John 3:30: “He must become greater. I must become less.”

I am chosen out of this world, not to be a part of it but to be a child of God. It is not good for me to gain the world, for the world’s wisdom is foolishness to God. When I love the things of the world, desiring what it offers and feeling full of pride, I am not loving my Lord for he is not part of the world. His will should be my desire, not my own. He is greater. I am less.

Oh LORD, I understand that something very small here on earth could be HUGE in your sight. I understand that substitute teaching my very small Sunday School class could be the very thing you have called my to do, even though it doesn’t seem very big to my eyes. I understand that sending someone a note of encouragement or a $20 bill could be BIG in your economy. I understand that I am called to do Your will, not my own and that my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways. (Isaiah 55) Give me a desire to do Your will. Make me content to do whatever it may be, no matter how small. Let me think about the small things as if they are monumental . . .because really they just might be the one huge thing that makes a difference in someone’s spiritual life. Give me eyes to see things Your way, LORD. Give me a sense of purpose, even when I’m doing something that seems miniscule to me. Bigger is not better in Your eyes, LORD. Remind me that Your thoughts are different. Faith. Build my faith, so that I will seek Your will and not my own. In Jesus’ mighty name I ask these things . . .

And on a more personal note . . . David, I hope these words were wise enough for you this morning! Thanks for being a faithful reader and making me post something new. Keep reminding me. Of course, you could make a comment every now and then.

Scripture That Guards

Earlier this year, I made a commitment to memorize two Bible verses each month. The verses could be of my choosing but I had to report my choices on the 1st and 15th of the month to my accountability partners.

I had never attempted to memorize scripture at a consistent pace before. Maybe I’d memorized a few, but really, I thought it was something I couldn’t do. I remember even writing that down in one of my old journals. “I’m not good at memorizing scripture.”

Well let me just tell you that was a lie Satan wanted me to believe. He just wanted me to think I couldn’t do it. Sounds pretty reasonable if you look at it from his point of view. The Word is my sword according to Ephesians 6:17. It is the weapon I can defend myself with. Why would he want me to sharpen my sword and have it ready? He wouldn’t, of course! That is why he kept telling me I couldn’t remember scripture! And for a while, I believed his lies.

I know the truth now, and the truth is I am hungry for God’s word. I can memorize it quickly and it comes to my mind and my mouth just when I need it. I cannot begin to tell you how often I have been in a situation, feeling defeated or feeling uncertain or even feeling joyful when BAM - there is it – in my mind and on my tongue. God’s Word is awesome!

Take for example my recent situation. There has been an area of my life that has not gone the way I wanted it to go. I’ve done everything I know to do. I’ve handled it the way the LORD has directed me, but still my prayers are unanswered and the situation looks bleak from here.

Needless to say, I’ve been very anxious about the outcome. But every time I started getting to that really anxious place – the place where I knew I was just going to emotionally lose it, my memory verse came to mind.

Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

That was me. I was anxious. So I would offer up to my Lord thanksgiving. (I’d already done a whole lot of prayer and petition.) And I would rest in the fact that He had it under control, even if it didn’t look that way to me.

You know, this verse doesn’t tell us that we’ll get what we asked for – maybe because He knows better than us and whatever we’re asking for might not be the best way to solve the situation. Nope. It doesn’t promise us answered prayers. It promises peace – a peace that is beyond understanding. It promises the kind of peace that doesn’t make sense. Others might look at you in the middle of your peace and think . . .”Why isn’t she upset?” Or, “I don’t see how she is holding up right now.” The LORD’s peace goes beyond understanding.

The other thing I find interesting about this verse is that this peace stands guard over your heart and your mind. Interesting. You would only need a guard if there was a threat, right?

In my case, I became anxious every time I was reminded of the situation. That could be many times in a day. So each time, it was presented, I would begin to start worrying and here would come my verse. I would say the verse out loud (didn’t have to look it up because it was in my memory) and I would remember to trust my MORD and her would come my peace – the peace that stood guard and didn’t allow all those anxious, negative thoughts to consume me.

The peace of God has been guarding my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. I sure have been under attack, but I’m feeling pretty good because I know that LORD has posted peace to be my guard. I do not need to be anxious – all I need to do is pray and thank my LORD.

I don’t know what part of this you needed to hear today. Maybe you too have believed Satan’s lie that you can’t memorize scripture. To you I would say . . . grab hold of the truth. Take up your sword and defeat the lie. Find some verses that speak to you and some friends that will hold you accountable. You’ll be glad you did.

Maybe you needed to hear that God’s peace will guard your heart and your mind. Maybe you are in the middle of some kind of battle and you needed to know this. To you I would say . . . write this verse (Phil. 4:6-7) on a card and carry it around with you. Repeat it over and over until it is hiding in your heart. Speak it every time you begin to feel anxious. Let it remind you that God is in control and He has sent peace to guard over you. Thank Him – for He is good.

Dear LORD, I thank You for Your Word! I thank You that You have given it to us to teach us, protect us, comfort us, encourage us and much more. I thank You that You have shown me the truth. I thank You that You have equipped me with a mind that is able to memorize Your Word. And, I thank You for the hunger I have for Your Word and Your presence in my life. Fill me up LORD. Fill me up with You. I want to know You more and more each day. Thank You. In Jesus name . . .

Unexpected Messengers

Sometimes God sends the most unexpected messengers.

For over 2 years I’ve been dealing with a watery right eye. Well, its not just watery; its full of puss sometimes and hurts a good deal of the time. I’ve been to all kinds of eye doctors. Every doctor would say, “If this doesn’t work, you may have to see an eyelid specialist – one who deals with tear ducts.” It was the worst case scenario threat.

This week I went to see him. Dr. Mather – educated in all the right medical schools, highly recommended, well respected in the medical community and one of only 200 eyelid specialists in our country.

Anyway, Dr. Mather explained what he thought and what he was going to do before he began to probe my tear duct. He told me we were looking for something that was blocking it, usually that was a little stone, crystallized matter that had built up. He would clear it out and that would be it. All done; I’d be better. He said, “99% of the time this works.”

I knew right then I was the 1% and sure enough I was right. No stones. So, now what? Wait. That’s what he said. We could do surgery but that would compound some other eye issues I have and he didn’t want to do that unless he absolutely had to. So, we’re waiting.

Now, I’ve prayed for healing of my eye for these 2 years, especially since March or so, when it started to get really painful. My husband has even put his hand over my eye everyday and prayed. So, a lot of verbal prayers have been lifted up. But, some silent prayers have been lifted up too. After my visit, I sent up one of those silent prayers. “Give me something, Lord. Tell me what to do.”

The next evening I was watering my potted plants in the backyard. My driveway is really long and goes all the way to the backyard and then opens into a patio. Most people who know us will pull all the way down the drive but those who don’t will stop near the front door.

I’m watering away when I notice an old yellow Mercedes – driven by an old black man slowly pulling down the drive. I didn’t know the man so I yelled at Jeff that someone was here. Sometimes people from his work will come by and bring him something to fix. He’s very clever with small engines. I just assumed Jeff knew the man. He didn’t.

By the time the yellow Mercedes had come to a stop, Jeff and I were both standing at the back edge of the house and the man had driven all the way down our drive – all the way to the backyard. We were curious.

Then, thick with old Charleston accent, the man started talking.

“I’m just doin’ me some drive-by healin’. Yeah, our preacher said lots of folks in this world need healin’. He sent us out. So, I’m just doin’ drive-by healin’.”

Drive-by healin’? I was floored. How many years had I been praying for healin’ of my eye? Didn’t I just go to my last hope doctor? Didn’t he just say I was the 1% and we could wait and hope for the best? Didn’t I place my hope in the LORD?

I was ready to burst out, “Pray for my eye!” But Jeff said, “That’s very nice of you. Thank you sir.” And with that, the old man mumbled again, “I’m doin’ drive-by healin’,” and began to back out the drive.

I watched him creep slowly down the street. I suppose he was praying for healin’, being led by the spirit to where healin’ was needed, but he didn’t pull into anyone else’s drive. Jeff and I watched him disappear around the corner – speechless. Then, he looked at me and said, “Drive-by healin’? I never heard of such a thing.”

“He was an answer to prayer,” I shouted. “He was sent by my Lord to give me a message! Honey, I got me some drive-by healin’! Praise the LORD!” I laughed and laughed with joy at the message my Lord had sent me.


Later, I went inside and knelt in thanksgiving before my Lord. I began to realize what an unexpected messenger He had sent. He knew I needed more than a word of encouragement from family or friend. I needed something other than a Bible verse. He knew I needed words of hope from an unexpected messenger. Its amazing how fast an unexpected messenger will get our attention, isn’t it.

I marveled at how my Lord weaves our lives into something beautiful. I marveled at His messenger – an old black man, sent out from church, choosing a very white neighborhood, driving down my drive to tell us he was doing drive-by healin’. I marveled at how God uses His people. The man never asked if I needed healing. He never asked to pray for me. That wasn’t what he was there for. He was a messenger –sent to give hope. And, this side of heaven, he’ll never know what he did for me that night because I never told him.

“but those who hop in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)


I don’t know what awaits me and my eye in the future. Maybe like Elijah my messenger was sent to give me bread and nourishment because the journey ahead of me is long and difficult. Or, maybe he was a messenger of good news like the 3 visitors sent to tell Abram and Sarah they would have a son. (If so, I’m glad I didn’t laugh in doubt like she did.)

Time will tell. But for now, I’m pleased to feel encouraged by my Lord. It’s just another way He shows me I am chosen and loved and strengthened by Him. Thank you, LORD!

Are You Thirsty?

Yesterday I wrote a long list of things to do in my journal. I was complaining about never having enough time to get everything done. After I wrote out my frustrations, I went to check my e-mail. I get these devotionals via e-mail everyday. I never read them. I probably have 77 unread, just sitting there. Anyway, I clicked on one to read, just by chance, and there it was – a devotional on taking time with your kids and not worrying about the “To-do” list. Funny how God works. Guess he was letting me know that life isn’t about a to-do list.

The problem is, my focus seems to always be on those kinds of things. What has to be done today? Where will I get the money for that? How will this or that ever happen? My life is full of details to manage and I’m constantly focused on them.

I pray about them a lot too. “LORD, help me get this done today.” I’ve prayed this way for years. Maybe you have too.

It started occurring to me a while back and honestly, I haven’t really let it come to the front of my mind where I might mull it over but I started thinking that this is not what Jesus would want me to ponder. It would not be on his list of things to think about. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8)

Think about The Woman at the Well in John chapter 4. The woman is thirsty or needs water for chores, so she goes to the well for water. She goes about her daily chores. Jesus is there at the well and he asks her for a drink but, she questions him, since Jews don’t normally associate with Samaritans. Jesus didn’t worry about cultural divisions and he wasn’t really concerned about getting water from this lady either; he was digging much deeper than that. He was concerned about her soul for he answers he, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water . . . Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (v. 10, 13-14)

Did you notice that? Let’s not skim over that too quickly. Jesus did not get up from his seat, pull the water from the well and take it back to her house for her. He didn’t offer to help her with her “to-do” list. He looked straight through her list of chores, right into her heart and that’s where he saw something that needed to be done. She had a need in her heart to know Jesus Christ, savior, redeemer, giver of living water.

Our “to-do” lists are superficial. The heart is what matters to Jesus.

You know, I’ve often thought as I was praying away my things to do, that if Jesus suddenly appeared in front of me so that I could touch him and have a conversation with him, he wouldn’t say a thing about my chores or my money or whatever aches and pains I might be suffering that day. He would look right through those superficial things and into the deepest part of my heart. He would pull some unnoticed thing up out of there and say, “Here, let me fix this for you. This is what I see needs to be done.”

Maybe it would be some bitterness I hold deep inside. Or a greedy root I didn’t know was there. Perhaps it would be some insecurity I hadn’t noticed that was bearing some bad fruit in my life. Whatever he might pull out and bring to my attention, I can promise it wouldn’t be dishes or laundry or errands to run. If Jesus showed up in my prayer time, those superficial things would melt away and all that would matter would be the state of my heart.

Think about that for a while . . . It’s true.


So, I must ask myself, “Do I never ask for help with my to-do list?” I believe the answer to that is no – go ahead and ask. Jesus cares about our daily lives. He wants us to come to him in the big things and the small things. But, we should also take time and ask him to reveal things that need to be fixed. We should ask Jesus to give us a pure heart, one more like his.

Will this be difficult? Probably. Will he identify some touchy subjects you don’t want to talk about? Most definitely. But, his aim is to free us, redeem us, purify us. Won’t you let him do that for you? It is a Godly To-Do list with an invitation to let Him get it done. For the LORD says,

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters.
And, you who have no money, come, buy and eat.
Come buy wine and milk without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me and eat what is good
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me.
Hear me that your soul may live.
And I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.” (Isaiah 55:1-3)


Jesus stands in front of you, arm extended, beckoning. Come. You are thirsty for living water. Come. He offers what no man possesses. It costs nothing but is rich and will delight you. Come. Enjoy the covenant of faithful love promised to you. Won’t you come?


Oh, dear LORD, I thank you for this invitation. I thank You for Your deep love. I thank You for your desire to set me free from the things of this world that want to entangle me. I thank You for your Godly to-do list and I thank You that in the end, mine doesn’t matter. LORD, let me remember this. When the world is closing in on me and I’m being strangled by my chores, let me remember Your open invitation to come to You so that I might eat Your satisfying bread – the Bread of Your Presence. Remind me, O LORD, to come to you. I ask this in the name of my redeeming Lord, Jesus Christ . . .

Jesus First

I was thinking about choices again. We are faced with a lot of choices every day – some big, some little, some simple and some that we just struggle over.

As a teacher I get asked thousands of questions a day that I must make choices over. Can I go to the bathroom? Can I go get water? Can I borrow a pencil? Can I have some paper? Can I go to the bathroom now? Choices!

I can think of some choices I’ve agonized over – ones I’ve cried over, lost sleep over, discussed with others and prayed with my face to the ground over. I think God puts some choices in front of us to build our Christian character – and maybe those choices are more for us because He knows the choice we will make from the beginning. He knows our heart.

Just like the other night with Jeffrey and his baseball choice. I told him he could skip camp and VBS but even when I told him that, I knew he wouldn’t. I knew what he would o, but he had to go through the struggle in order to come out stronger in his Christian stand on the other side. And, I believe he did because he feels good about his decision and knows it was the right thing. Next time he has to make a decision like that, it will be easier. He knows where he stands now. I knew all along but now he knows. That is important. I believe God gives us those kinds of choices all the time so that we will know where we stand.

I thought about Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22. When God told Abraham to take Isaac and sacrifice him, Abraham had a choice. He didn’t have to do that. He could have stayed right there and said, “Surely, I can’t do that LORD.” But, verse 3 says, “Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddles his donkey.” He got up early because he didn’t sleep all night for thinking about his choice. The Bible doesn’t show us his struggle, but don’t you know he must have worried all night – cried, prayed, pleaded perhaps.

God didn’t announce – do this Abraham because I’m testing you. That would have been too easy. “A test? Oh! I can do this!” Abraham would have said. Nope! God didn’t tell Abraham that and he doesn’t tell us either. He just gives it to us. There it is. You choose.

Oh, the agony of it. I think, however, we make it harder on ourselves than it has to be. Psalms 37:5-6 says, “Commit your way to the LORD, trust in Him and He will do this – He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.” Commit your way to the LORD! It’s really that simple. That’s what God wants us to do. He wants us to know where we stand, what we’ll choose and that our choice is HIM. Our choices for Him build us as Christians.

David, our Youth Minister, has a simple saying that keeps us focused on mission trips: “Jesus first!” That’s his motto we stick to while we’re out on the mission field. Our decisions and our choices are made simpler with “Jesus first!” in mind. Our daily schedule is based on this. The order of activities is based on this. We live around “Jesus first!” every day.

If we would look at every choice with the “Jesus first!” motto in mind, how much easier would things be? Consider some every day choices we have:
Sunday school or sleep in?
Jesus first!
Lottie Moon offering or buy that extra Christmas gift?
Jesus first!
Going fishing today or help with the mission project?
Jesus first!

See how easy that could be? The problem is . . . it isn’t easy. We lose our focus, get caught up in other stuff and then our choices seem difficult. The more we choose Jesus, the firmer our stance becomes, the stronger we grow. I’m not suggesting here that you can’t sleep in some days or buy an extra gift or go fishing but, those things shouldn’t interfere with what we do for Jesus. Jesus first!

We definitely have choices to make in life. Let’s be strong in the LORD and always choose Jesus first!


Dear LORD, I know that sometimes I look on a choice that should be simple and just agonize over it. Would you please strengthen me? Give me eyes to see my choices clearly, without the rose-colored glasses of the world. Make my decisions always be for You. Let it be simple for me so that I may, with ever increasing strength, always choose Jesus first, without even having to ponder. Let Jesus be my default. I truly want to live this way. Help me LORD! I ask this in the might name of my Jesus . . . .

America: Land of the Free and Plenty

Two things happened the other day. First, I received a text message from my friend, Tammy telling me that Oprah was giving everyone in America a free KFC meal. It said to go to her website, download the coupon and take it to KFC for your meal. The coupons would only be available for 24 hours.
Wow! What a generous offer that seemed to be. Everyone in America? Jeff and I thought she might spend around $150 million. Our number could by way off, but at any rate, she is going to spend a lot of money. More than I would ever have to spend.
The second thing that happened . . . I was reading on Beth’s blog. Melissa had just returned from India and was showing pictures and talking about the 2 Companion children she sponsors. The conditions in India are pitiful. The people are very poor. I saw pictures of people washing in little spigots on the street or in river water that looked like very creamy coffee. I saw slums where 5 people live in a room and people sleep on the roof or the street. I saw the sweet little faces of Pramila and Manot who live in a mud hut with no running water nearby or electricity. They are far from the luxury of the Calcutta slums. I saw depravity; God’s children who only ask that we pray for them.
I pondered these two things as I lay in the bed that night – our fast food computer downloaded world made a stark contrast to the mud huts, dirty water and slums of India. The thing is, we in America, no matter how poor we might think we are, live like kings compared to most people across the third world. We really have no idea what we have here.
Suddenly, Oprah’s generous offer didn’t seem so generous any more. $150 million dollars on fast food for people who can afford to own a computer and a car? Couldn’t they buy their own KFC meal? Wouldn’t that $150 million dollars have been better spent on wells that would provide clean drinking water for millions of people across the world? What was she thinking?
Television numbers? I’m not trying to bash Oprah here, but her generous offer is a perfect example of American mentality. We think of ourselves, our luxuries, our wants. We are greedy!
My husband happened to ride by KFC the day after that text message and the cars trying to get in were lined up down the road. I’m sure they were all thanking Oprah for their dinner that night, but I wonder . . . what if she had said, “For every person who clicks on this link on my website, I will give $5 toward a well in a village in a third world country,” how many people would have rushed to do that? I bet not half as many. We’re greedy. If it’s not for us, we don’t care.
America! Land of the free (will)! Land of the (I want) plenty!

Oh, but hasn’t God blessed us with plenty so that we might let it overflow to those who don’t have as much? And, hasn’t God blessed us with freedom so that we might be able to do with our money what we want. These are really big responsibilities that we’ve been given and we’ve forgotten these things. Or, maybe we never knew them at all. One thing is for sure – we are blind to others and are so caught up in our own little worlds of money and things and who has the most that we don’t look to see that we have a lot of opportunity to help others.
Will we take the time to look? Will we take the time to ask God how we might help – to be willing to reach out beyond what we know to bless others from our blessings? Or, will we remain comfortable in our cocoons of free and plenty? The choice is ours. What will we do?
Luke 6:38 says, “Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Oh LORD, these are BIG thoughts for a little girl like me. I have no idea where you are going with this. I have no idea what you want me to do with these ideas. All I know is that you are going to have to do a work in me. LORD< give me a heart for your children. Make me love them beyond what I’m capable of because I think my heart is not nearly big enough. Give me a heart like yours – full of love, full of compassion, full of warmth, full of sacrifice and full of whatever else I might need. Full of courage maybe – ‘cause you know I’m a scardy cat and sometimes you ask some scary stuff out of your people. Yes, full of courage.
LORD, I know I am only one person and it doesn’t seem I could do much. But, You are everything and if I am one person FULL of You, I will be able to do whatever you’ve called me to do. So, I ask that You continue Your good work in me. Teach me. Give me a heart like Yours, eyes to see, ears to hear and courage to go forward.
I praise You! I thank You! In Jesus’ name . . .

Crossing Bridges

I was talking with an old friend the other day about the calling she feels God has placed on her life and how she is scared to move forward. I know that feeling. I even expressed to her the reason I had to go forward with the thing God was calling me to do. Several years ago, when I first began my adult “walk with God”, I was attending a WMu meeting. There was an invitation for people to pray and I knew deep down in my heart that God was asking me to do the praying that evening. Oh, how I didn’t want to do that. I had never prayed in front of others. My heart was racing. My palms were sweating. I had the words on my tongue but I let the moment pass by and someone else prayed. I knew I had blown it. That was my moment. God had given it to me and I didn’t take it.
Later, I felt like God had backed away from me. It took days in prayer to feel like He was by my side again. I didn’t like that, so the next time He gave me that opportunity, I took it. I prayed out loud in front of others. It really wasn’t that bad and soon I was comfortable praying in public. God had opened me up to something I probably would have never done on my own.
After I talked with my friend, I began to re-think this event. You know, I might have felt like God backed away from me when I didn’t do what He asked, but I was really the one who backed away. Consider the idea of “walking with God” . . . you are walking along, learning, talking, all that good stuff. You are happy to be near God, when – BAM – suddenly, you are in a place you haven’t been before and didn’t see coming. A bridge you’ve never crossed. You’re scared, unconfident and like a spooked horse, you begin to back up. “Whoa! I’m not sure I want to go over that bridge. I’ve never done that before.” And all the “what-ifs” start playing in your mind.
What if I fail?
What if people think I’m strange?
What if I make a fool of myself?
What if this isn’t right?
What if . . . . on and on . . . .

God is still standing at that bridge. He is coaxing you to cross. “It’s okay. I’m right here. I’ve got you. Don’t be afraid.” But, your heart is pounding, your palms are sweating, you’re shaking and the moment is quickly passing by. If you don’t take the opportunity to cross this bridge, it might be a while before you get back there again.
Never fear, though, God is always by your side, but sometimes it takes a while to recover from a bridge moment. More than likely, you’ll get another chance to cross that bridge. When you do, you’ll realize it wasn’t that bad in the first place. Secondly, the peace and satisfaction that comes from knowing you walked over, with God, is grand. It is worth the trip. And then, you are in a new place, freer than you were before because, with the help of God, you have conquered your fear.
As a Christian, I think the first bridge we come to is the bridge of salvation. Can you remember that feeling when you realized Christ was calling you? Nervous. Shaking. Unsure. Can’t ignore it. Heart pounding. Emotions flooding. There he was – calling you. You wanted to go . . . but should you?
And, oh! The sense of peace and joy and satisfaction that spills over you when you step across that bridge – it’s priceless! Redeemed. Ransomed. Bought with a price. Free. A child of God. The reward for crossing the first bridge is eternal life. Wow! Now, that was worth the trip, wasn’t it?
But, remember that feeling when you stood at the bridge and knew Christ was calling you forward because you’ll feel it again some day. Maybe he’ll ask you to pray out loud, like He did to me. You’ll feel the call, the heart beat, the sweaty palms, time is ticking. Will you go? Or, maybe your bridge is an invitation to sing, or speak or teach a lesson. Maybe you’ve been asked to hand out tracks. Perhaps you have a friend that you feel you need to witness to. Should you?
If you are walking with God, bridge encounters are inevitable. They are going to happen because you can’t walk forward with God without having to do something new and different. He will take you outside your comfort zone. Never fear! He is with you every step of the way. Lean on Him. He’ll get you across. And, before long, you’ll be crossing a bridge without a second thought.
If you aren’t having bridge encounters, then perhaps you’ve stalled out. Perhaps you aren’t walking with God in the way you should. Maybe you’ve gotten comfortable somewhere and decided to sit down. Get up! You’re not going to get where God wants to take you just sitting there. Grab hold of His hand and know that you can do all things through Christ.
When you feel that nervous feeling and your heart begins to race . . . when you know a bridge is up ahead . . . don’t turn and run! Hold on to Jesus and go across. You’ll be glad you did!

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Daily Prayer: LORD, I know you have bridges for me to cross. I know I will need some help. Please give me the strength to cross over. Fill me full of your Holy Spirit and lead me across. I want to go places with you. Let me not be comfortable sitting still. Keep me moving forward always following your lead. Thank you! In Jesus’ name . . . .